I just turned 36, and I thought it would be fun to roundup a list of some of the tips and lessons I've learned along the way. These are ideas and nuggets of wisdom, from my own life experience and I hope this serves you too, enjoy!
1. What you think of yourself matters more than what others think of you.
The biggest regret of those who are dying is, "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me," according to nurse and author, Bronnie Ware.
I've learned that we can't control the thoughts or opinions of others, so don't waste your time trying to live your life to get approval from or please others, or their expectations of you. Be yourself. Be true to who you are and be kind to yourself. Don't worry so much about what you think other's think of you, that's none of your business.
2. You can find joy in doing work you love and be a great mom.
I use to believe that it was best to choose one over the other. A career, or being a mom. I thought I had to choose only one and choosing a career was often discouraged, in my community when I was growing up, so it was something that was very confusing and conflicting for me. Being full-filled and growing professionally was very important to me, and so was being a great parent to my kids. I wanted both. I didn't know how it would all work out in the end. I wanted to do both of them well. I did my best to manage and show up for each season of life, as it came.
The truth is that there are so many ways to work, share your talents, create online businesses and make an income that you don't have to feel like corporate America is your only option. There are endless possibilities. You can create your own career, work when you want and have the flexibility you want. I love that we can choose what feels best for our own situation, and season of life.
3. Allow yourself to be supported, in all ways.
Don't try to do it all. I use to think that being successful meant adding more stress, more responsibilities and overwhelm, leading to burnout. This is the picture I saw in movies, what was portrayed culturally and what I heard others complain about.
That doesn't have to be the case. Allow yourself to receive support, and get comfortable delegating and taking things off your plate. Learn to say no.
Allow yourself to be supported in the areas of life you need the most help. There is no shame in asking for help and support, men do it all the time. So can women. We can feel supported in every area of life, and make a plan to bring it to life.
4. Going after my dreams has allowed me to show my kids, by example, that it's possible for them too.
In our home, we try to embrace the mentality that we support each other in going for our dreams. We create an environment where our kids can talk about what they're striving for, what they want to achieve and what their dreams are. We do our very best to support them and help them get there.
Likewise, we talk about our dreams, as parents, and how we're taking action to make it happen. We're open about what it really takes to get there. Perseverance, clarity, consistency, the ups and downs, we keep moving forward towards our dreams, no matter how long it takes.
How can I expect my kids to go after their dreams, if I don't model it and go after my own? We lead by example, and we support each other along the way.
5. Honor the season you're in.
Trees and flowers have a spring, summer, winter and fall. We do too. Maybe you're in a season of change, or a season where things are flourishing. Sometimes we try to rush through, or skip certain seasons of life. Don't. We all have cycles, seasons and parts of life that have a reason for it. Don't rush through life or wish you were in another season. Honor the season you're in and understand there is a purpose for it.
6. Get clear on your priorities, and say no to what doesn't align.
Know what's most important to you, it's a lot easier to say no to other opportunities, shiny objects, distractions or things that are not as important. Get super clear on what your priorities are. Make a list and create a habit that helps you keep those priorities top of mind. I use a planner. Let go of what's no longer working or doesn't feel aligned to what matters most to you.
7. My secret weapon: prioritizing health and well-being.
I've learned to practice strong wellness habits, like regular exercise, yoga, mediation, natural remedies and rituals that have help me feel good. These are non-negotiable and so important to me. When life is more demanding, or when I feel something is off, I do my best to get back on track, and stick to the basics.
8. Sleep like a queen.
Wake up at 4 am? No thank you. The benefits of getting adequate sleep are undeniable. If you're wanting to reduce stress, have more mental clarity, be a high performer, and get sick less often, than get more sleep. I strive for around 8 hours, and love a full night's rest. It makes me feel like I can wake up and conquer the world. If you're feeling low on energy, try adding more sleep and see what happens.
9. Decided what type of a lifestyle you want, and create your work, business or professional life around it.
I got clear on exactly what type of lifestyle I wanted to live, and found ways to make income that supported my lifestyle, not the other way around.
10. We naturally doubt ourselves, so prove yourself wrong.
Don't let fear be in the driver's seat of your life. Give yourself more credit. You're smarter than you think, more capable than you give yourself credit for and can figure things out. When in doubt, prove yourself wrong. It feels great. Trust your gut, not your doubt.
11. Creating multiple, passive and recurring revenue streams is awesome.
For a large part of our life, we lived off one main source of income. My husband's job. Looking back, I realize how risky that was. Even with savings, if something would have unexpectedly changed, we would have be in trouble.
We started creating multiple income streams, that have brought us more stability and peace of mind. Things like passive income from a rental property, investments, a profitable wellness business with recurring revenue, my online business, profit sharing from an e-commerce agency and more. Making the decision to change and improve our situation, was one of the best things we've done.
12. What you put in, you get out.
Be careful what you feed your body, mind and soul. Fill your mind with things that uplift and encourage you to be your best. Read good books. Turn off garbage radio and time-wasting media. Look for things that make you a better person. Surround yourself with positive people and be a force for good.
13. Create before you consume.
I learned this concept from my mentor, Marie. I've found ways to create boundaries around technology and distractions, to help make time and space for the work I do and what I create in this world. Create first. Consume later.
14. Show up for your dreams.
No one is coming to save you. No one will hold you accountable for your dreams. Choose to show up. Have the courage to go after what you want most. Everyone starts at the beginning. It's part of the process. Every pro was once an amateur. Embrace it, get started. Don't compare yourself to others, just keep showing up and keep going for what you want most. You'll get there.
15. Ignore the critics
Stand in your truth, be respectful, speak from your heart and do what you love. I've had people write mean comments. One lady told me my post about empowering women was "satan's lies." Wow. Delete it.
Don't waste your energy engaging with trolls or critics. If you want to have a thoughtful conversation, that's different.
I've found that some people project their own fears, insecurities or their own lack of fulfillment onto others. Whether you're putting yourself out there, or not, some people will be critical or judgmental about you. Ignore them, don't engage with trolls. Stay in your own lane. You might as well be doing what you love. Don't waste your energy with critics.
16. Trust in the process.
Trust that every inspired step is taking you forward. No experience is wasted. You can learn from your failures and your successes. Find joy in the process and trust in change, evolution and the timing that is right for you. You're not too far behind, going too fast or too slow. You're just right. Trust the process, your intuition, your timing, and keep going.
17. Change can be hard, but it's beautiful.
Allow yourself to evolve. It doesn't always look pretty in the process. Allow yourself to change and trust that you're coming out the other side a better you.
18. Women who are empowered, empower others.
I'm yet to find an empowered woman, that I admire, that isn't supportive of empowering other women around her. It's beautiful. We do ourselves, and humanity a huge service, when we lift each other up.
We all become stronger when we all rise together. We become leaders, decision makers, hold power and influence, we create change in our communities, in our homes, with our children and in our own lives, when we are fully empowered. It is so important to me and I know there is more work to be done to help women be and feel more empowered in all areas of life.
19. An abundant life starts within.
If you're not seeing the results you want externally, when it comes to wealth and abundance, it may be that you haven't yet cultivated the right mindset around it.
20. What we appreciate, appreciates.
Be grateful for and appreciate what you have. Focus on what you want to see, have, experience or feel more of, from a place of abundance, and it will grow.
21. Know your strengths.
Get to know yourself really well so you can maximize your skills, potential and abilities. Take personality quizzes, tests, and learn about your top strengths and talents. Be intentional about the skills you want to improve and develop.
22. Have more courage and take more action.
What would you do if you had 10X more courage? That's an indicator of which direction you should start taking more action.
23. Focus on progress, not perfection.
Take imperfect action, and make real and meaningful progress towards your goals. Done is better than perfect. Perfectionism can be paralyzing, and really slow things down. Don't get stuck in it. Focus on and celebrate progress instead. You'll go further and faster than trying to do things perfectly.
24. Eat the Frog.
A great book by Brian Tracy. Do your most important work first thing in the day. Prioritize your day around your most important activity, that would really move the needle forward.
25. Your inner world creates your outer reality.
It's true. Whether you believe you can or you can't, you're right. Your inner world needs to match the outer reality you wish to see. Do the inner work needed and arrive there first. Your outer reality will soon follow. The only one standing in the way is you.
26. It's ok to change what you believe.
Beliefs are not set in stone, they're not fixed. If something isn't working for you, change it. We're meant to evolve. That's a natural part of life. We all start with a clean slate. Our beliefs are formed during childhood, through repetition, inherited from our parents, leaders, community, life experience and those who have influence over us. If your beliefs feel off, mis-aligned, or no longer work for you, change them. Re-write them. You can believe what you want. Strive to become your highest self.
27. Nourish your temple.
Your body is your temple. Be kind to it and treat it with love and respect by eating well, drink water, eat clean foods and nourish yourself with the best nutrition you can. Take good care of it, and it will take good care of you.
28. You're doing better than you think.
We're often our own worst critics. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing better than you think you are and you're becoming and stepping into who you're meant to be. Be patient, give yourself more credit. You're closer than you think.
29. Create moments of connection, with those you love.
Be intentional about spending quality time with those you love. Mark your calendar and make connection time a priority.
30. Play with your kids.
Play is a powerful form of love. Do activities that you use to enjoy as a kid, with your kids. I love riding my bike with them, reading or making up stories, playing games and dancing with them. Sometimes it's good to be a kid again. Play like you use to play, when you were little. It's way more fun.
31. Create strong money habits and upgrade your money mindset.
This was one of the most pivotal and most life-changing lessons learned in my life. I continue to practice this, because it helps me create the strong future I want for our family.
32. Go on dates with your partner/spouse.
Over the years, you'll both change. That's ok. Do things to rekindle your passion and keep things interesting by going on fun dates together or travel. Continue to get to know each other on a deeper level and keep nurturing your relationship.
33. Self care is important.
Put your oxygen mask on first, and fill yourself up, so you have more to give to others around you. No one benefits from an empty cup. Self care is what allows us to show up from a place of overflow.
34. Slow down.
Say no to being busy. In our family, we started using the word "full" instead of busy. This is intentional because we can have a full life, without it feeling crazy busy. It means the time is filled, with what we want, maybe that's more downtime, relaxation or white space. It's still full.
35. Share your gifts and serve others.
Use your gifts, skills, resources, hobbies and talents to help and serve others. There is only one you. Your contribution to this world is needed. Your contribution to your community, society, your family and others is needed. Find joy in serving others and shine your light.
36. Don't be afraid to charge your worth.
Don't undervalue who you are, your life and work experience, your unique perspective and what you bring to the table. Charge what you're worth and those who need it will be happy to pay you for the value you provide to help them. Women, especially, tend to undercharge for their work. Know your worth, and charge accordingly.
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